Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Now, on the official ACA World Service Organizations website, at http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/EarlyHistory.s , they do give the history of the starting of the ACA groups.  It talks about how Tony and the Alateens got together and started a group that was separate from anything else they were doing at the time.

Just Lexxie, Chatterin’ Again!

1.  Acknowledge that you get angry when you have angry feelings.  You are entitled to get angry.  Learn to speak up.  Do not deny the fact that you are personally angry.
2.  Fighting between intimates, parents, children, and friends is natural.  There is no need to feel guilty about expressing anger.
3.  Attempt to deal with the feelings of your partner or child.  He/she has a right to be angry, too.   Respect their anger and avoid smiling or laughing at them.
4.  Listen and keep listening.  Paraphrase what he/she says; make perception checks so you understand what he/she is saying and thinking.
5.  Be sure you have an issue or position to fight for.  Shift your aggression from personal attack to the issue.  Attack the problem, not each other.
6.  Avoid putting your partner down.  He/she will become more defensive and become more difficult to reach.
7.  Learn to recognize when you are merely letting off steam (venting).  Don’t create fights when your partner is letting off steam.  It is not directed to you personally.
8.  Try not to become an injury, injustice, or grievance collector.
9.  Avoid hitting below the belt, throwing back information given in trust, or bringing up past mistakes or skeletons.
10.  Avoid handicapping your fighting form, i.e.,  trying to solve problems when tired, sleepy, hungry, or when drunk or unstable.
11.  When you become aware that you are wrong, admit it.  It may be embarrassing and painful, but it is necessary for your own growth.

     For the first time in our lives, we are dealing with ourselves — we identify the characteristics in each and every one of us.  With this new focus on “self” and away from the personality, disease or identity of our parents or caretakers, we come to see how our program addresses us as “Adult Children” in the here and now.  We begin to experience a reality that is our own life, independent of the family drama that resulted in acquiring the characteristics that brought us to meetings. 

     In a healthy home, a child is allowed to develop a sense of “self” through the stability of the parents, through exploration and individuation.  The early stage called “The Terrible Twos” is the time when a healthy family allows the child to establish appropriate boundaries.  The child has learned the quality of trust necessary to risk finding their own identity (“I want…”, “Give me…”, “I don’t like…”, etc.) and the meaning of the word “No.” 

     In our homes (for whatever reason) we were not able to experience the stability needed for this vital process. Healthy exploration was distorted by unstable, unstructured lives.  Individuation was not possible. 

     We enter ACA feeling more comfortable talking about other people — what they did, what they said, what they were, etc.  We have had no experience in defining ourselves — what we feel, what we need, what we are.  When we grew up, we became extensions of those around us — learning their fears, behaviors, limitations, and prejudices.  In ACA we find a need to discover ourselves as unique individuals instead of living as extensions of those around us. 

     For many of us, the early stages of this process resulted in a feeling of guilt — as though we are “bad” for betraying the role placed on us by the family system.  There are those among us who froze at this stage of our voyage of Discovery/Recovery, but most of us progress at our speed if we are simply willing to admit those feelings to others.  The rigid and frightened child inside, who has come to view any change as a threat, can be loved, supported and nurtured through the changes necessary to become a healthy adult.

     We can see now that our lives, while sharing history and learned reactions with our family, are separate from our parents or caretakers.  We are not doomed to perpetuate the patterns we found necessary to our survival as children.

     Any Adult Child, through guidance of our loving Higher Power, can heal, accept the past and grow through the clear and consistent direction provided by the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.  Whether from the most violent alcoholic background or from the illusion of serenity in other dysfunctional homes, every Adult Child can begin progressing through the process of Recovery and the Discovery of “self”.

                              Joe D., Kelly M., Christian C., and Charlie Ann P.   1987

If it is something that you can relate to, leave a comment.

Lexxie

Hope everyone continues to spend a little time with us. 

OH!!  and we are adding a couple meetings on Thursday nights…  one at 6 pm and one at 8 pm…  a little flexibility for all of us. 

Living In Serenity Today
The L.I.S.T. ACA Group
Adult Children of Alcoholics

at

St. Luke Presbyterian Church
4301 NE Vivion Road, Room 217
Kansas City, MO 64119

Meetings
Tuesday 6-7 PM
Thursday 7-8 PM

http://thelistacagroup.wordpress.com

At 3:00 PM,

on Saturday,

January 8th, 2011,

we will be celebrating our 1 year Anniversary.

Stop by and join us for a bit. We would love to meet you and share with you how this wonderful program has changed our lives. Hear how we got started and where we are today. We will have the coffee going and some snacks to share. Hope to see you!

We are grateful to another 12-Step fellowship for allowing us to rent meeting space for a nominal fee.  This is helping us to follow the 7th Tradition of being self-supporting. 

While our group is growing, we are having consistent business meetings using the Traditions to give us a strong foundation for out future growth.  Input from all members is welcome at our business meetings.  

Come check us out, we love meeting new people!

Lexxie

“PROTECTIVE” DEFENSES USED TO DEAL WITH ABUSE
These defenses interfere with developing relationships on an adult level.
1. Silence
2. Denial – may be believing it’s not happening
3. Dissociation – “becoming the spot on the ceiling”
4. Numb feelings
5. Change feelings – from anger to ______________
6. Change meaning of abuse – child may be told, “This is good for you”, so child may think “Doesn’t
this happen to all kids?”
7. Isolation – stay away from home, etc.

RECOVERY FROM ABUSE
1. Share your story – you don’t need to deal with pain alone
2. Believe your story – you have a tendency to discount
3. Establish perpetrator responsibility – recognize it isn’t about you
4. Address the addictions used to numb the pain
5. Realize you can deal with the pain without mood altering substances
6. Learn to recognize, then accept, and then communicate feelings
7. Learn to nurture yourself
8. Build self-esteem and positive body image (affirmations)
9. Deal with family of origin – break the code of secrecy – by writing and talking with other people
10. Learn to be playful
11. Learn that now you do have a chance to live, you do have choices – YOU NEED NOT BE A
VICTIM
12. Take back your power – act responsibly, set boundaries that feel comfortable, control sexual
behavior – you can control who enters your life
13. Remind yourself of your strengths
14. Learn you can say “No”
15. Learn to give and receive criticism
16. Stop abusing others

Taken from the ACA WSO website