1.  Acknowledge that you get angry when you have angry feelings.  You are entitled to get angry.  Learn to speak up.  Do not deny the fact that you are personally angry.
  2.  Fighting between intimates, parents, children, and friends is natural.  There is no need to feel guilty about expressing anger.
  3.  Attempt to deal with the feelings of your partner or child.  He/she has a right to be angry, too.   Respect their anger and avoid smiling or laughing at them.
  4.  Listen and keep listening.  Paraphrase what he/she says; make perception checks so you understand what he/she is saying and thinking.
  5.  Be sure you have an issue or position to fight for.  Shift your aggression from personal attack to the issue.  Attack the problem, not each other.
  6.  Avoid putting your partner down.  He/she will become more defensive and become more difficult to reach.
  7.  Learn to recognize when you are merely letting off steam (venting).  Don’t create fights when your partner is letting off steam.  It is not directed to you personally.
  8.  Try not to become an injury, injustice, or grievance collector.
  9.  Avoid hitting below the belt, throwing back information given in trust, or bringing up past mistakes or skeletons.
  10.  Avoid handicapping your fighting form, i.e.,  trying to solve problems when tired, sleepy, hungry, or when drunk or unstable.
  11.  When you become aware that you are wrong, admit it.  It may be embarrassing and painful, but it is necessary for your own growth.