Alcoholism Is A Family Disease.  We Became Para-Alcoholics And Took On The Characteristics Of That Disease Even Though We Did Not Pick Up The Drink.   

  When any member of a family is suffering with alcohol addiction, all who live in the household are affected and become ill.  In some families the desperation and emotional turmoil is ever-present, while in other homes the entire family may go to incredible lengths to put on a show of normalcy.

Regardless of the family posture, however, the disease of alcoholism affects everyone.  The children suffer stress in countless ways.  Eventually the overwhelming pressures in the alcoholic family lead to emotional disturbances, many of which have been described in this chapter.  Appearances aside, all of the children in an alcoholic household become wounded and most of them carry those unhealed wounds into adulthood, home and social environment.  No child escapes unscathed, though many are under the false impression that they have.  It is most sad that so many ACoAs truly feel that they survived their childhood with only minor scratches and bruises.

Para-alcoholism is the transmission of emotional aspects of the disease from parents to children.  Children who are exposed to the illness eventually take on many of the characteristics of the illness.  It’s a fact of life that many ACoAs resist before recovery.

Excerpt from Chapter 4 – The Recovery Process in The Laundry List by Tony A. and Dan F.

2 Responses to “Trait 13 – Para-Alcoholic”

  1. Melissa Whiteley Says:


    I would like to find an online ACA sponsor. I have recently moved to a more rural area in the UK where there no available sponsors (they have not completed 12 steps/gave enough recovery).

    I can give more of my history at a later date, if needed. I have been attending Alanon groups for about 10 years and am in my 4th step..kind of dangling, dawdling in it actually!

    Hope someone can help, or point me in the general direction of it!

    Just putting this out there as I haven’t -as yet- found anywhere else to ask!


  2. Craig K Says:

    I’m a sober member and have 29 years and didn’t understand what was missing in my soberity. I’d work the steps however felt the abandonment issue also feeling of isolation in social situations. I’m meet the person my dreams and within two months just miss understood something and I destroyed the relationship that meant the world to me. The old patterns came up so clearly it shocked me into a painful experance that rocked my life. In the after math I found ACA which was givening me answers to question I’ve never asked in my life of my self. The grace of God I’ve not taken drink due the fact my spritiual bank account had couple extra peso from helping men in their sobriety. I’m staring new journey in emotional soberity due to ACA meetings and step work book. The pain in my life has motived a true honest desire to grown in my life, I don’t want to repeat the old behaviors again. My honest desire in life is to best I can be in life of service and encouragement of others in my life, I want to have a full wonderful life. I hope is to have the relationship I’ve desired a life time to have to have a companion who will see the authentic person who I am and for me to share a life with on the journey of life, yes intimacy is my desire in this life of mine. I believe and now this program will help me grow into the man want to be n my life.

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