Adapted from the Laundry List

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional household.

We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures.  To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process.  All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.

We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both.  Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

We lived life from the standpoint of victims.  Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves.  We go guilt feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others.  We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally.  We keep choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us ‘co-victims’, those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink..  We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults.  As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.

Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment.

4 Responses to “ACA The Problem”

  1. Dr. Ronald Graham Says:

    This website is helpful to all those
    are in need answers for letting go.


  2. Thanks so much for this wonderful post;this is the stuff that keeps me on track through out my day. I have been searching around for this site after being referred to them from a buddy and was thrilled when I found it after searching for some time. Being a avid blogger, I’m blessed to see others taking initivative and contributing to the community. I just wanted to comment to show my support for your website as it’s very interesting, and many writers do not get acceptance they deserve. I am sure I’ll drop by again and will spread the word to my friends


  3. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ve bookmarked it in my web and social networks. I will certainly be back.


  4. “Saying many thanks is not going to just be adequate, for your phenomenal clarity inside your writing. I’ll instantly grab your rss feed to remain educated of any updates. Fabulous function and considerably achievement as part of your business efforts!”

    ——————————————–
    my website is
    http://hohnerharmonica.org

    Also welcome you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s