Tony A. Version of Step 3 as found in his book, The Laundry List
We made a decision to practice self-love and to trust a Higher Power of our understanding.
from page 56-57 of The Laundry List:
“Instead of surrendering our lives to the sick parents that reside within us, we choose to put our faith in a spiritual power greater than ourselves, however we choose to define it. In my efforts to resolve the difficulties in my life, I recognized that I would have to accept myself and learn to nurture myself. I found that I could no longer give myself and learn to nurture yourself. I found that I could no longer give myself away to the needs or demands of others.
…. Just as it is our Higher Power’s responsibility to give us unconditional love, it is our responsibility to give our child-self unconditional love.
…. I also learned that this nurturing approach could help me heal the break with my parents. I could sit in silence and visualize my father as a frightened, confused, defensive little boy [and surely he was] and visualize myself hugging his little child. In my efforts to practice self-acceptance and self-appreciation, I began to discern healthy actions from unhealthy actions, toxic people from accepting and sensible people, positive situations from negative ones — and to take actions that moved me toward self-love.”
ACA Official Step 3 / Alanon Step 3
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.